Sunday, 26 September 2010

big scary world -part one


So for me it has been an interesting 2 days.

(This is day one)

Went to the doctors on Friday for a few things, my asthma checkup was due, I had a rash on my leg and wanted to discuss GID (gender identify disorder).

My asthma is doing well with a peak flow of over 600,

My rash is apparently a fungus (yuck) and I have been prescribed some cream to make it go away.

And then we got to GID...

I kind of started talking at that point (felt good) I told her about what I felt, how long I can trace it back to, what effects it both has had and is having on me both physically and mentally. She asked me what my friends and family thought and what my other half thought and weather it would cause any problems in our relationship.

She is not a specialist by any means on the subject and I suspect I am her first case. (But she did seem like she had read the relevant training leaflet and she asked the right questions) I felt comfortable talking to her and I made an effort to display that I am of sound mind and that I have done a lot of research on the subject.

I made it clear that I did not (and still don't) know how far down this road I may go but I still have momentum in the direction I am going.

Another item I wanted to make clear to both her, myself and you the reader is that I want to take this carefully.

I have been brought up to take things carefully (mothers fault)

I have been doing a lot of thinking the last few weeks, and one extra reason I wanted to let the doctor know my situation is due to an unfortunate statistics.

The largest cause of death among trans people is suicide.

Now before you all look on in horror - I am fine, yes I have bad days where everything seems stacked against you but so does everyone.. (And I have good days like this one to)

I have been thinking about that a lot (the statistics not suicide) and thought it best for someone in the medical profession to be aware of my situation/condition.

Anyhows, she listened good and made some notes and she has told me that she will talk to some colleagues and find out some more on what is out there. Part of my reason for telling her was because I have been unable to find either support groups or psychologist within 50 miles of where I live.

She told me she would give me a phone-call when she had been able to find out some info.

That evening me and my girlfriend watched a film and I was overjoyed that I was able to cry at it a little. This means a lot to me as I find it very hard to cry - but very good for the soul when I do. I think the talk with the doctor helped somewhat.

It also left me in a good enough state that I was able to do something spectacular on the Saturday. (To follow in next chapter.

Time for dinner.

Love and hug to all.


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